by Krithya Shakthi K K , I B.A. Economics
If you're born in an Indian family, kudos to you!
Along with the cosmic family population, you get to attend family gatherings, gratis. If you think it's one of those with loads of zing and high spirits, it is time to dishearten your rocketing expectations. You could narrowly survive these dreary few hours of your life if you have your cousins to give you company; if not, you will despise these moments of your life!
Putting on an outfit you loathe, a forced grin on your face, you begin with the most grinding task—meeting your long-lost relatives. While you have chirpy and interesting conversations with a few of them, you spend the rest of the time figuring out how they're actually related to you. Once you are done giving at least ten of them life updates, tedium starts to kick in.
If you are an amateur at dealing with such situations, you will be stuck in a group of uncles and over-dressed aunts discussing your life history and planning out your life (from your most embarrassing childhood stories, to your height, weight and complexion, to your career). If you're a pro at this, you will realise your smartphone is your ultimate rescue tool. Plugging in earphones and pretending to be listening to music, you could eavesdrop on some gossip or you could just find yourself a seat in the corner of the room and dive into the plethora of entertainment on your phone.
Then comes the splendid part in this terrible story—the food! The variety of food is colossal, and you can spend this time happily, unleashing the foodie in you. Finally, rewarding the efforts taken to survive this time-consuming and tedious process, we get a goodie bag each!
Boring family gatherings can be sweet and sour experiences (like the soup they serve), but they're an inevitable and universal obligation of life as we know it.